I still remember the weight of the crystal pendulum in my hand, swinging over birth charts as clients watched with desperate hope in their eyes. For years, I was that person—the spiritual guru draped in mysticism, speaking in cosmic absolutes, promising answers written in the stars. I taught workshops on tarot spreads and planetary retrogrades. I guided meditation circles where we “raised our vibrations.” I sold the idea that the universe had a plan, that everything was energy, and most dangerously, that there was no such thing as good or bad.
I believed every word of it.
Until the day I didn’t.
The Phrases That Became Armor
The New Age community runs on mantras. Not the ancient, contemplative kind, but modern psychological shields disguised as wisdom:
“There is no such thing as good and bad—only experiences.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“You create your own reality.”
“It’s all about perspective.”
“There are no victims, only volunteers.”
I taught these phrases in my workshops. I wove them into my tarot readings, my numerology sessions, my astrological consultations. When someone came to me devastated by betrayal, abuse, or loss, I offered them these cosmic platitudes like medicine. I watched them repeat the words back to me, their pain momentarily numbed by the illusion of spiritual understanding.
What I didn’t see—what I refused to see—was how these phrases were dismantling their ability to think critically, to protect themselves, to recognize harm.
The Moment the Spell Broke
The turning point came during an ordinary conversation with a woman I’d mentored for two years. She’d just discovered her partner had been stealing money from her elderly mother. When she told me, her voice shook—not with anger, but with confusion.
“I know there’s no such thing as good or bad,” she said, almost robotically. “I know I created this reality to learn a lesson. I just need to figure out what the universe is trying to teach me.”
She wasn’t even angry. She’d been trained—by me, by our community—to bypass her natural protective instincts and immediately reframe abuse as a “learning experience.” She was searching for the cosmic meaning in being stolen from rather than simply recognizing it as wrong and protecting herself.
In that moment, I saw what I’d done.
I had taught people to be spiritually gaslit. By themselves.
The Architecture of Manipulation
Looking back with clearer eyes, I can see the structure of what I was teaching. It wasn’t wisdom—it was a sophisticated system of thought suppression.
Moral relativism as spiritual enlightenment: By teaching that “there is no good or bad,” I was effectively teaching people to distrust their own moral compass. Every boundary became negotiable. Every violation became an opportunity for “growth.” Evil became just another “perspective.”
Toxic positivity dressed as high vibration: The obsession with “staying positive” and “raising your frequency” meant that acknowledging real problems was seen as “lowering your vibration.” People learned to smile through pain, to spiritually bypass their trauma, to shame themselves for feeling normal human emotions like anger or grief.
Spiritual bypassing as enlightenment: Rather than dealing with difficult realities—abuse, injustice, suffering—the community taught people to transcend them philosophically without actually addressing them practically. Why confront a toxic relationship when you can just “send it love and light”?
Determinism disguised as empowerment: “You create your own reality” sounds empowering until you realize it means victims are responsible for their victimization. It turns every tragedy into a referendum on the victim’s consciousness. Got cancer? You manifested it with negative thoughts. Sexually assaulted? You attracted it with your energy.
The Echo Chamber Effect
What truly horrified me was watching these phrases become reflexive responses in our community. Someone would share something genuinely troubling, and like clockwork, a chorus of voices would respond:
“Everything happens for a reason!”
“What you resist persists!”
“You’re exactly where you need to be!”
These weren’t thoughtful responses—they were programmed reactions. The community had developed its own language, its own thought-stopping clichés that prevented deeper examination. Any attempt to discuss actual right and wrong, to call something objectively harmful, was met with accusations of being “stuck in duality” or “operating from ego.”
We’d created a space where critical thinking was rebranded as spiritual immaturity.
The Guilt of Recognition
When I first began to see the manipulation, the guilt was crushing. How many people had I taught to ignore red flags? How many had I convinced to stay in harmful situations because “the universe” wanted them to learn something? How many had dismissed their own valid concerns because I’d taught them that judgment was unspiritual?
I thought I was offering liberation. Instead, I’d been offering chains made of moonstone and sage smoke.
The crystals on my shelf suddenly looked different—not like tools of transformation, but like expensive rocks I’d convinced people held magical properties. The tarot cards seemed less like portals to wisdom and more like elaborate cold-reading props. The birth charts I’d spent hours interpreting were just… patterns we projected meaning onto.
The Journey Back to Logic
Leaving the New Age community wasn’t a single decision—it was a slow, uncomfortable awakening. I started reading philosophy, logic, ethics. I studied cognitive biases, logical fallacies, and the psychology of belief. I forced myself to examine the claims I’d been making with actual scrutiny.
Did Mercury retrograde really cause communication problems, or were people just more aware of normal glitches during those periods due to confirmation bias?
Did my tarot readings actually predict the future, or was I just skilled at making vague statements that clients interpreted as specific?
Did crystals carry healing vibrations, or did people feel better because they’d invested money and belief into an object and needed to justify that investment?
The answers were uncomfortable. But they were honest.
What I've Learned
I’m not here to say there’s nothing valuable in contemplation, meditation, or finding meaning in life’s patterns. But there’s a vast difference between personal spiritual practice and the manipulative ecosystem I participated in.
Good and bad exist. Not everything is relative. Some actions are objectively harmful. Abuse is not a learning opportunity—it’s abuse. Recognizing this doesn’t make you spiritually immature; it makes you sane.
Critical thinking is not the enemy of spirituality. Questioning claims, demanding evidence, and thinking logically don’t lower your vibration—they protect you from manipulation.
Feelings are data, not blocks to transcendence. Anger at injustice is appropriate. Grief at loss is natural. These emotions aren’t “low frequency” states to be bypassed—they’re human responses that deserve acknowledgment.
Empowerment comes from agency, not cosmic determinism. You don’t create every aspect of your reality through thoughts. Sometimes terrible things happen through no fault of your own, and sometimes you need to take concrete action rather than waiting for the universe to align.
To Those Still Inside
If you’re reading this from within the New Age community, I know how this sounds. I know you’re thinking I’ve “fallen into lower consciousness” or I’m “trapped in ego.” I thought the same thing about people who left before me.
But I’d ask you this: When someone tells you about harm they’ve experienced, what’s your first response? Is it to help them recognize the harm and take action, or is it to immediately reframe it as a lesson, a manifestation, or a perspective issue?
If you can’t call abuse “bad” without qualifying it with cosmic explanations, you might want to examine whether you’re speaking wisdom or repeating programming.
Moving Forward
These days, I live differently. I think critically. I read philosophy instead of casting charts. I acknowledge when I don’t know something rather than consulting oracle cards. I’ve learned to say “that’s terrible, and you didn’t deserve it” instead of “everything happens for a reason.”
I’ve also learned to forgive myself. I genuinely believed I was helping people. The manipulation was baked into the ideology itself—I was both perpetrator and victim of the same system.
But now I’m out. And if my testimony helps even one person recognize the manipulation in New Age thought-stopping phrases, if it helps someone trust their moral instincts again, if it gives someone permission to call harm what it is, then sharing this story is worth it.
The truth doesn’t need to be dressed up in cosmic language to be powerful. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is think clearly, protect yourself wisely, and acknowledge that yes, good and bad actually exist.
And that’s a far more solid foundation than any crystal grid I ever laid.
If you’re in the process of questioning New Age beliefs and need support, know that your doubts are valid. Critical thinking isn’t spiritual failure—it’s intellectual integrity. Trust yourself.
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